IRELAND - HOME SWEET HOME......... The only place where........ • When you were young, you went to bed when Glenroe was over, • If you die from alcohol poisoning, you're considered a lightweight, • 'Fuck off' means 'Are you serious?', ... ... • The person that you insult most is probably your best friend, • Saying 'I will yea' means that you definitely won't, • "Fuck it, its grand' means that you couldn't be bothered to finish it properly, • 'He`s fond of a drink' means he suffers from severe life-threatening alcoholism, • Saying you're going for a drink means you might not be seen again for 3 days, • Crisps are called 'Taytos' and fizzy drinks are called 'minerals', • 'For the craic' is the best reason for doing anything, • The best cure for a hangover is more drink, • Nobody can go a day without saying 'Jaysus', • 'Meeting' has a double meaning, • Tea is the solution to every problem, • And water is the solution to every GAA injury, • "I got stuck behind a tractor' is a perfectly valid reason for being late, • We eat Tayto sambos for lunch, and ham sandwiches on the way to Croke Park, • You can insert the name of a gardening tool into any sentence and it still makes sense, e.g. 'I had a rake of drink last night' or "I'll be out in a minute, I'm just shoveling down the dinner', • GAA is considered religion, • Its perfectly acceptable to call your mother 'mammy' even though you are a fully grown adult, • Saying 'Now we're sucking diesel' means that you are happy with the outcome of the situation, • Drinking 'tae' is everyone's favourite past time, • You're scared of the wooden spoon, • The word 'like' goes in every sentence, • You can say "Any craic' to a garda and you won't get arrested, • 'The dogs' bollocks' means something is brilliant!!